When a Mentee Confides Something Heavy
I'll never forget the moment I handed my mom a 3-page letter.
I was in my late teens, overwhelmed by anxiety, perfectionism, and a silent eating disorder I had been hiding for years. Putting words to those struggles felt terrifying—but I was desperate to be seen.
And my mom?
She handled it with grace. She cried with me, hugged me, and walked with me through every step of my healing journey—therapy, prayer, and beyond.
But that was my parent.
What if you’re not a parent—but a mentor, a youth leader, a small group leader, or a caring woman simply doing her best to show up?
What do you do when a girl you’re discipling drops something deeply personal?
Something that stuns you?
Something that makes you think, I have no idea what to say or do right now?
Maybe she tells you she’s struggling with:
- Sexual sin
- Identity confusion
- Anxiety or depression
- Self-harm
- Or just feeling deeply lost and alone
This is the moment many women panic.
But you don’t have to. You just need the right tools, a surrendered heart, and a biblical lens for mentorship.
Here’s what to do when “the heavy stuff” comes up:
1. Don’t freeze—listen.
You don’t have to fix anything. You just have to stay present. Look her in the eye. Be calm. Ask, “Thank you for trusting me with this—can you tell me more?”
2. Respond with grace, not shock.
Even if you’re surprised or heartbroken, this is not the time to overreact. She's watching your response. Show her the love of Jesus: steady, safe, and merciful.
3. Affirm her courage.
Remind her: “It’s incredibly brave to say this out loud. That takes strength and honesty. You’re not alone.” Help her see that confession is the beginning of healing, not the end of her story.
4. Pray right then and there.
Invite the Holy Spirit into the space. Even a simple prayer can reset the moment and invite God’s comfort: “Jesus, thank You for being near to the brokenhearted…”
5. Know when to refer.
You are a mentor, not a licensed counselor. Know your boundaries. If the struggle is serious or ongoing, help her connect to professional Christian counseling or a trusted pastor.
6. Follow up.
Text. Call. Show up. Don’t let that moment be the end of the conversation. She shared with you because she wants support—even if she’s scared.
If you’ve ever wished you had a biblical guide to walk you through how to mentor with confidence—especially when it gets messy—I created one for you.
More Precious Than Pearls is a 12-session mentorship curriculum that guides both the mentor and mentee through the most common struggles young women face—with Scripture, story, discussion prompts, and prayer tools included. I'm also now working on a support platform to help you with challenging mentor moments and can't wait to share more as it progresses!
You don’t have to figure this out alone. You just have to say yes.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." - James 1:5 (NIV)
With you in this,
|
0 comments