The question I was too nervous to ask about sex...

The question I was too nervous to ask about sex...

A moment of vulnerability (in the spirit of mentorship):

When I was younger, a question I often asked myself (but was too afraid to voice out loud), was this: "How close can I get to sex without it being a sin?"

I know I wasn't the only young person wondering where exactly the line is, and I promise girls are still asking the same question today.

Let's remember that if we don't answer these types of questions, someone else will—and their answers may not point our girls to Christ. To answer this question, I'm going to share a quote I've heard so many times that I'm not sure who to attribute it to:

The question we should be asking isn't, "How close can I get to the line of sexual sin?" but instead, "How far can I flee from it?"

Is there a verse for this? Sure is!

"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." — 1 Corinthians 6:18 (ESV)

In 1 Corinthians 6:18, the word "flee" is the Greek word: φεύγω (pheugō) which means to run as if your safety depends on it, because spiritually it does.

Joseph models this beautifully in Genesis 39, when Potiphar's wife tried to seduce him:

"He left his garment in her hand and fled and got out of the house." 
—Genesis 39:12

Joseph didn't even take the time to pray about whether or not to stay. He didn't stop to test his self-control. He ran.

Our prayer and encouragement for girls should be to help them learn to identify the situations, relationships, and influences that tempt them. And then, rather than flirt with temptation, manage it, or see how close they can get to it, we must teach them to flee from it.

The good news? It's found in 1 Corinthians 10:13:

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." (ESV)

This will serve our girls not only when it comes to sexual temptation, but every type of temptation they'll face throughout life.



💬 From the Field

Parents, youth leaders, and mentors—I hear you. God's design for sex is not an easy topic to navigate. It's one of the most daunting conversations for adults to approach with young people, and I pray the next resource from Pray Her Forward will be part of the solution!

I'm thrilled to announce that I'm teaming up with Dr. Joe Malone, Ph.D., who brings over twenty years of experience working in the areas of working in women's health, sexual wellness, and sexual integrity. Dr. Joe, known as "The Sexual Integrity Scientist", has invited me to co-write a devotional / Bible study for girls that translates his Ph.D. research on women's sexual wellness into a format that's relatable and digestible for girls and young women. Our goal is to marry science with Scripture to communicate God's beautiful design for sexuality.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Joe in The MentHer Collective and am linking the episode below to give you a glimpse into his research:


Click on the image to watch our interview on YouTube!

 

Dr. Joe and I are aiming to publish our book in 2027, and in the meantime, we've recently launched collaborative workshops that you can now bring to your youth ministry, women's ministry, sorority, school, or church. Learn more about our workshops below!

 

PS—This snippet from our interview is up to 40k views (and a few interesting thoughts in the comments). Let me know what you think!

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Written by Leighton Lunger

Leighton Lunger, founder of Pray Her Forward holding biblical mentorship curriculum for girls and young women on a couch

I'm Leighton! Ex-corporate girl turned ministry founder who loves encouraging girls to grow together in Christ. ✨

More Precious Than Pearls | Biblical Mentorship Curriculum

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