💡 The 6 heart-postures every mentor needs to remember

Do you ever wonder which way you should lean or what heart postures you should emphasize when mentoring?

Maybe you’ve asked yourself questions like:

• Should I regularly correct, or just listen?
• Should I teach her about the consequences of sin, or point out what she did right?
• Should I explain why her decisions were unwise, or focus on the love of the Lord and His protective boundaries?

At times, it can feel like climbing a mountain with your mentee as you consider the conversations that might come up.

Here are my pointers on how to respond to any topic when mentoring and discipling young people. Every chapter of More Precious Than Pearls embodies these overarching themes (while also providing plenty of practical tips and reminders on how to live out these truths!) 

• Love first, always — This is the story of the Gospel and how we should approach every topic and conversation. “If I don’t have love, I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” (1 Corinthians 13:1*)
• Grace upon grace — As we mentor, emphasize that God’s grace is a continuous river of flowing blessings and favor. “Out of His fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.” (John 1:16*)
• Truth in love — Mentorship is about speaking honestly—never shaming, but guiding. “Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15*)
• Salvation through faith, not works — Many of us have a tendency to strive or perform for God’s love. The end goal isn’t self-improvement but becoming more like Jesus for God’s glory. “By grace we are saved, through faith—not by yourself but as a gift from God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” (Ephesians 2:8–9*)
• Forgiveness through confession — Often, girls carry shame and guilt that blinds them from the unconditional love of Jesus and the ability to step into the good plans He has for them. Let’s teach them to lay their sins at the cross through confession and to fully receive God’s forgiveness. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9*)
• Purification by Jesus — It is the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross that purifies us, regardless of our past choices. “Christ gave Himself to redeem us from wickedness and to purify us.”(Titus 2:14*)

*Scripture above paraphrased for clarity. For full text, see 1 Corinthians 13:1; John 1:16; Ephesians 4:15; Ephesians 2:8–9; 1 John 1:9; Titus 2:14.

Next week, I'll share how to balance grace, love, and forgiveness with truth, correction, and accountability, as these are important too!

Do you have differing views? Reply to this email—I'd love to hear!

This is why we mentor.

Psssttt.. 

If you’re asking questions like
❔What do I talk about with her?

❔Where do I start?

❔What if it’s awkward?

❔How should I respond?

I have a resource for you. Our discipleship curriculum takes the pressure off you to “have it all figured out” and provides the stories, questions, Bible application, and even tips (“Pearls of Wisdom”) to guide girls on the most common and challenging topics. You're not in this alone!

With love and gratitude,