Statistics on girls' confidence that broke my heart 💔

79% of girls say they're going to "explode" because of pressure (The 2023 Girls' Index, ROX, 2023).

That's right—79%—even among middle schoolers! As I reviewed the latest Girls' Index, I reflected on some of the other statistics that are driving my “why” around a ministry centered on mentorship:

• Extreme sadness and depression tripled in 5th and 6th grade girls between 2017 and 2023.
• 46% of 5th graders spend 6+ hours/day using social media. 😳
• Rates of girls' confidence have declined from 68% to 55% in 5th through 11th graders since 2017.
• 65% of girls say how they feel about their body makes them feel less confident.

I'm actually not shocked by these statistics. I was talking to my mom recently about how much pressure I put on myself in school to perform and excel—in academics, extracurriculars, friendships, appearance, and yes—even in my spiritual life. And now, in the age of social media, when personal achievements and accolades are broadcasted, competition and the “need to achieve” is a burden we all seem to be carrying.

The burden. The expectation. The demand. The standard.

It's high, and it's in our faces. As girls are applying for colleges, competing for awards, racing for first place, and now, vying for the most followers... Oooff. I can't imagine the pressure of being in school again. Stephen Covey, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, acknowledges the danger of trying to motivate children with praise and rewards. Instead, he and his wife chose to focus on their son's intrinsic worth rather than his external achievements.

And yet, we as adults are feeling it too—at the conference room table, while we're planning Instagram-worthy parties, and as the parenting handbook is updated to the latest version with the help(?) of AI...

SO.MUCH.PRESSURE.

I'm feeling it too. At my core, I'm an achiever (As I mentioned before, an Enneagram 3 👋🏼) who loves to achieve. I'll admit—a major temptation I face is the need to accomplish something, check off my to-dos, overcome a challenge, or fix a problem to feel valued.

Clearly, younger girls are feeling it too.

But nowhere in my Bible does God talk about the need to achieve or submit to the pressure of performance in order to please Him. In fact, wasn't "the Law" done away with in the New Testament? So why are so many of us striving to outdo ourselves and each other?

🪞The silent sin of comparison.

It's pervasive and sneaky. It feels innocent because achievements are lauded with "well dones." But if we aren't careful, we'll teach our young people that if they're not winning, they're losing. God is after our faithfulness and obedience, not our accomplishments.

God doesn't pressure; He invites.

He doesn't push; He welcomes.

He doesn't rush; He's patient.

He never compares; He tells us we're fearfully and wonderfully made.

We have the opportunity to remind girls of the source of their strength and security:

"But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him." -Jeremiah 17:7

This is why we mentor.

Do these statistics surprise you? Reach out and let me know your thoughts. 🫶🏽